My life long battle with food, self image, self hate, self love, being lost and separated from God, and being saved is still being written. The story you are about to embark on is my life & fitness story, my journey. I am sharing this to help me… it is theraputic, and also to reach someone who is going through similar experiences but feels alone. You are not alone. You may not love you, the world may not love you from your point of view, which may make you feel empty, lost, ugly, useless, or all of the above. The good news, the Be Happy News, is that God loves you. You just need to accept him, and build that relationship.
As the hymn “Just As I AM”, originally penned as a poem in 1835 by Charlotte Elliott and made into a hymn by her and others (the following version is credited to Travis Cottrell) goes, “Just as I am without one plea but that Thy blood was shed for me, and that Thou bidst me come to Thee, O Lamb of God, I come, I come. Just as I am and waiting not to rid my soul of one dark blot. To Thee whose blood can cleanse each spot, O Lamb of God, I come, I come. I come broken to be mended. I come wounded to be healed. I come desperate to be rescued. I come empty to be filled. I come guilty to be pardoned by the blood of Christ, the Lamb. And I’m welcomed with open arms, praise God, just as I am. Just as I am I would be lost, but mercy and grace my freedom bought. And now to glory in Your cross, O Lamb of God, I come, I come. I come broken to be mended. I come wounded to be healed. I come desperate to be rescued. I come empty to be filled. I come guilty to be pardoned by the blood of Christ, the Lamb. And I’m welcomed with open arms, praise God, just as I am.” Those words spoke to my heart and to my soul. They are also the words that brought me to salvation, and me being saved has kept me from ending my life because I did not like what I saw in the mirror. I did not know that the true mirror is not the glass we look in, but the eyes of God. I was so worried about what everyone thought of me, and I let their terrible words break me, to the point where I have a life long issue with food, health and body image. At 41, I still struggle. But I am in a better place than I ever have been and it is all because of God. He is my strength and he is why I am still here today. Now that you are caught up with the now, lets go to the early years.
to be continued in part II tomorrow… “My Life as a chubby child”
